Coming full circle: Remembering the past and embracing my future.
It was not long ago that I sat alone in a crib with metal railings and beeping monitors sounding as an abundance of stuffed animals surrounded my view. As we all know it so easy to forget the past and become consumed with the present. Forgetting parts of our past can be intentionally or beyond our control. Nevertheless it does happen. This week I had the blessing of being reminded of my many blessings in life and how impacted my life is because of where I’ve come from and the many paths I’ve crossed.
Recently during my own art therapy session, I was told by my therapist that the New York Foundling Hospital also known as the Elizabeth Seton Hospital would have a reunion. As the hospital facilities will be moved to Upstate New York in the near future. Instantly I became flooded with emotions of happiness and sadness. I thought to myself a reunion celebrating the wonderful site, treatment and nurture the staff provided sounds about right. As well as celebrating the painful years I spent away from my family. Not painful due to torment or abuse, but painful due a separation of a little girl from her family. I did not want to become boggled with the emotions of that sorrow instead I wanted to embrace the fact that I have come full circle from those moments. Later on in the week I met with my foster mom for one of our monthly catch ups, as we sat in a restaurant and of spoke of many things. She smiled with content when she spoke of having me be a part of her family then. And how excited I was when I saw an open field of grass for the first time. She spoke of a frilly white dress she bought me home in and how adorable I looked. She also spoke of the woe and joy she felt when I returned home to my own family. Because she knew my family had worked really hard to have me back in their care. Listening to her stories of how I impacted her life and her impacting mine as just a child needing to belong made me feel ever so thankful, prideful, accomplished, and strong.
As the week progressed the enormity of my blessings just seemed to increase. I received my degree in the mail that Friday evening (the same evening we had the treacherous rainfall). My mom and sisters cheered for me as I read it aloud. Reading my name and my merit further validated my journey as not only as a woman who was once an orphan, who was predicted death by the age of three, with a chronic illness. A woman that has the motivation to live beyond what you see, has been told or experienced.
Today I am taking with me all my past with pride and gratitude as it will only propel me further in my future. I can now humbly say I have come full circle and thank you.
Carlos Roddriguez
Hello Tamara, when I first met you in the park, I had no idea how much you will inspire me, I thank you so much for letting us all know so much of your personal life, I must admit I wanted to know what your story was but I was afraid to ask, now I have so much respect for you and so proud to be your friend, and when I lost my job and was feeling sorry for myself you reminded me with your example that I have nothing to feel sorry for and instead keep my head up high and go out and start anew. I am forever thankful to you for being just the way you are. See you at Madison square Park. And remember we got to go to the High line park. You will love it there. . You are the best Tamara