The delirium of social media delivered an appealing idea: instead of building a ginger bread house for the holidays, you can create a small log cabin-like home using Kit Kat bars. The idea on its face was sound: Kit Kat bars are more delicious and are easier to eat than plain gingerbread.
I mentioned the idea to my daughters, looking to incorporate it into our holiday traditions. We can feast upon the Kit Kat Cottage with our eggnog amid the dulcet tones of holiday music. Their agreement was a positive reinforcement I didn’t really need to make additional plans for holiday gluttony.
The kits available online would not be delivered until after the holidays; it was time to buy the raw ingredients and make do. The kits come with larger-size Kit Kat bars, sometimes of different flavors of chocolate to help with variety such as having a roof of a different color.
I did not have the easier work of the Kit Kat Cottage Kit – I had to work with the raw ingredients as they were normally bought in a store. A box of 36 Kit Kat bars from the local BJs (BJs is like Costco or Sams Club and stands for Berkley & Jensen – flashing your BJs membership card will only get you the pleasure of buying in bulk) provided more than enough basic building materials. Regular and white chocolate chips to melt for our cottage cement, and thin peanut butter cups and a small tube of decorative green frosting to make wreaths and we had what we needed.
We began construction on Christmas Eve, expecting that the house would come together quickly, but it was not to be. We had to glue the normal-size Kit Kats together with melted chocolate so that the pieces would be big enough to create a cottage of respectable size. The regular chocolate chips didn’t melt into a strong enough adhesive, so we had to switch and re-glue everything using the white chocolate chips. Then once those dried we put together the cottage. Time dragged on, especially with the builders having to eat all the spare and broken Kit Kat pieces, both to ensure we were not poisoned and to not leave any crumbs that would attract insects. We had to finish the cottage on Christmas evening.
After a third round of dedicated construction, including the last-minute addition of a chimney and peppermint crunch Andes candies as windows, our Kit Kat Cottage was complete. As a house it is a dilapidated shambles that Willy Wonka wouldn’t piss on, but as a dessert is a commitment to decadent deliciousness. We admired our creation, but it was too late to begin eating on Christmas night.
The day after Christmas my children and I began eating the Kit Kat Cottage. It is taking us longer to do than I had anticipated. Five days later, after several desserts with my children and a few rare solo desserts specifically dedicated to making progress on this thing, we still have a way to go.
We will literally be eating this thing into the New Year. The sugar and preservatives are such that there are no signs of this dessert going stale. I can possibly bequeath the remains of the cottage to my future grandchildren, though by then such foods may be outlawed.
The Kit Cat Cottage is delicious, but it reminds me why I cut down on sweets except for special occasions. I want to make progress and not let this effort go to waste, but my body is not accustomed to eating sweets regularly and I fall into a sugar coma that makes me feel sluggish and useless.
The Kit Kat Cottage may be a tradition that is here to stay. Or it may be a holiday tradition that can be forgotten quickly and succumb to the need for better health. Wish me luck.
