Men! They are from Mars, and we are from Venus, right? Not exactly. Here is something that is going to blow your mind: We are all actually from the same planet—Earth. Google it.
So why then, is it so hard for men and women to “get” each other? I blame pop music.
There was a time when the pop charts were filled with women like Gloria Estefan, Maria Carey, Madonna, and Carol King singing about love, heartache, friendship, and striking a pose. Today’s pop songs are more about the beat, the shock factor, and the manginas (right Ke$ha?!).
Women say that all they want is a man who’s caring, kind, and compassionate, but then you listen to what women are singing about on the radio and signals seem very mixed. How are men supposed to treat us right with messages like this?
I want your ugly, I want your disease
I want your everything as long as it’s free
I want your love
Love, love, love, I want your love
—Lady Gaga
I want your ugly? No no NO! It’s no wonder that I turn on the television and see schlubs with hot women on their arms. I don’t go to the gym five days a week to find a guy’s ugly! That is, unless by ‘ugly’ you mean big beautiful penis. And I certainly don’t want your disease. Ever. I never, ever want your disease. That’s what condoms are for.
Or:
Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
Well it’s alright because I like the way you hurt
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry
Well it’s alright because I like the way you lie
—Rihanna
First of all, this is condoning violence against women. I’m into kinky stuff, but not burning. A little hair pulling? Sure! A slight choke here and there? Yes please! But burning? Come on now. She is also telling a guy that she likes the way he lies. Here’s the real truth: We don’t like the way you lie unless it’s to tell us how great our ass looks in those jeans.
I’m a slave for you. I cannot hold it; I cannot control it.
I’m a slave for you. I won’t deny it; I’m not trying to hide it.
—Britney Spears
Do I even need to mention the sex trafficking problem that is happening in our very own country?
Or:
Yo, I’ll tell you what I want, what I really really want
So tell me what you want, what you really really want
I’ll tell you what I want, what I really really want
So tell me what you want, what you really really want
I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna,
I wanna reall, really really wanna zigazig ha
—The Spice Girls
How are men supposed to decode this bullshit? Who can figure out what zigazig ha means? I don’t even think the Spice Girls know what zigazig ha means!
Now, check out the lyrics from some popular male artists, you’ll see that they just say it how it is. We think men are so confusing, but just take a look at their music:
And girl, I wish I could fuck every girl in the world
I wish I could fuck every girl in the world
I wish I could fuck every girl in the world
—lil wayne
My girlfriend’s out of town and I’m all alone
Your boyfriend’s on vacation he doesn’t have to know
—Enrique Inglesies
I see ya winding and grinding up on that pole
I know you see me looking at ya and you already know
I wanna fuck you, you already know
I wanna fuck you, you already know
—Snoop Dog
Bend over pop that pussy for me
Pop that pussy and shake dat ass
—Lil Jon
Easy as pie! So ladies, if we want men to be able to figure us out a little better, then I think we need to put it in our music—lyrics that are stunningly complex, passionately sensitive, and clearly passive aggressive! I vote for my girl Ke$ha to write the first one. After all, she already says that she can’t date a dude with a vag, and what’s more straightforward than that?
Lindsey Gentile is an actor, writer, comedienne, and all-around gal-about-town. Every Thursday, she reports from the front lines of single life in NYC. Check out her website HERE. Need more Big City Siren? No problem.
