BIG CITY SIREN ~ Lips Together, Teeth Apart

Oh the joys of being single!  The crazy nights out, the boys flocking to you and throwing themselves at your feet, the endless evenings devoted to eating string cheese and sweet potatoes in your underwear while watching episodes of The View on your DVR. (Did you see Whoopi’s shoes Friday? Amazing.)

Last night, for the first time in two weeks, I went out trolling for hot men with the ladies. It was great. Great bar, great drinks, great company. While I was waiting in line for the bathroom, this really hot guy started flirting with me. SCORE. We had a fun little back-and-forth and it was on. And then he smiled at me. It was a smile I’ll never forget. I will never forget it because he had no front teeth. Yup, you heard right. He was missing his two front teeth. SERIOUSLY? Listen, I don’t give a shit about the teeth. The real issue is that I just talked to this guy for 10 minutes and didn’t realize he was missing his TWO FRONT TEETH! This is yet another reason why I am going to die alone.

I ran into the bathroom, sat on the toilet, I said to myself aloud, “Lindsey. Drink some vodka and get your shit together.”

Lindsey Gentile is an actor, writer, comedienne, and all-around gal-about-town. Every Thursday, she reports from the front lines of single life in NYC. Check out her website HERE. Need more Big City Siren? No problem.