I have recently found myself wondering what kind of stay-at-home dad I am going to be.
There are so many options.
The Goofy Geeky Awkward Stay-At-Home Dad? I have been trying to avoid that kind of persona for quite a few years now, so, definitively, No.
The Aloof Stay-At-Home Dad? No.
The Smooth Well-Dressed Well-Coiffed Stay-At-Home Dad? If only.
The Edgy Stay-At-Home Dad, with black jeans and black t-shirts and a skateboard and a stroller with flames on it? No.
The Sporty Dad? Uh, no, and if only.
The Bad Ass Dad? No response necessary.
So…What did that leave me with?
And that’s when it struck me.
The Sexy Dad.
The Sexy Stay-At-Home Dad position was still available.
So…How to be the Sexy Stay-At-Home Dad?
Unbutton a shirt button here, work out a little more there, ratchet up the confidence a notch or two (way up, honestly), smile a lot (a whole lot), suck in the bellybutton, throw back the shoulders, emphasize your dimples, flash out your wedding ring, and get your hair cut on a very regular basis.
So…Have I succeeded in becoming a Sexy Stay-At-Home Dad? Do I have what it takes to be a Stay-At-Home Dad, the Sexy Version? Have I managed to convert from whatever I was before (childless and awkward and whatnot) to the New Sexy Stay-At-Home Father of One?
Frankly, and admittedly, I must acknowledge that the only honest judges of my newly proposed image would those other mothers with whom I typically socialize.
And frankly, and admittedly, their collective response would almost surely be, “What? Who? Him? Really?”
And then there’d be a chuckle or two.
Honestly, it must be admitted, this isn’t exactly the response a newly minted Sexy Stay-At-Home Dad is looking for.
Which would elicit the natural response: Damnit! I knew I should’ve gone with Sporty Stay-At-Home Dad.
I mean, if Hugh Jackman can do it…
