Ray Tempus, our New Yorker of the Month September 2005

On a hot day, late in summer, I was walking over to Gramercy Park to speak to Ray Tempus. I met him there a few days before, selling his book called A Forty Point Guide to Peeing in New York. I’m planning to take him out to lunch. As I approached, Ray was holding a portfolio.

AskaNewYorker: Hi Ray. How’s it going? What do you have there?

Ray: Hi. These are images of the paintings that I did from 1999-2001. The reason I have these are because they are the last ones that were showcased on a continuous basis. The first body of work that you see is titled “The Time Enigma”. All the images are within the “Body of Time” enigma, and have clocks and/or sundials, that is, a time instrument. But, they never have hands because the theory “Time Enigma” is that time is non-dimensional and it doesn’t exist because it is all that does exist. It is one of those paradoxical things that can’t be proven wrong, so I may as well say it. It sounds like I have some sense.

AskaNewYorker: And I was just going to take you out to lunch.

Ray: Again, my theory of Time Enigma is non-dimensional. It is considered the fourth dimension. If it is dimensional, then dimensionality is spatial by its definition. If there’s a beginning and end or a non-beginning and non-end, then what was just prior to the beginning? What was prior to the Big Bang? If you have to go with theology, what was prior to the creation of the Earth? There is no such thing as never. Because there was time, therefore time is non-dimensional. If space is dimensional, time is non-dimensional.

AskaNewYorker: That’s deep. Let’s go have lunch at Pete’s Tavern. (Ray continues to explain time) Who the hell are you?

Ray: I don’t know. But my father, whom I’m very close to, knows me better than anyone. No one could possibly know me better. He says it kind of like this, he says, “You know, he’s a hard one to figure”. I don’t know exactly what he means. I don’t have a clue. It’s all pretty simple to me. It’s all sort of on the fly. Smoothly, quietly. But, I don’t know. It’s kind of like thinking, it’s kind of like time.

AskaNewYorker: Tell me about the book you’ve written, A Forty Point Guide to Peeing in New York. I love it! The illustrations are amazing.

Ray: It was done kind of as one person’s response to the indignity of this attempted implementation of a police state. We’ve got into this whole quality of life issue. And we all know how that started. I got a ticket for public urination. It was really under the most ridiculous of circumstances. So ridiculous, in fact, that I flatly refused to respond to it. So I took it to court. And it was thrown out for lack of evidence. So I’m thinking, they actually have to take the pee with them to court as evidence. It was raining, and there was no evidence that I was peeing! It was thrown out of court. This book is in response to that event. It is my response to just ridiculousness. It’s almost like it insults that institutional thing that is putting this blanket over our civil liberties. Sure, you’re not supposed to pee on the sidewalk or anything like that, sure enough. However, given adequate precautions, given proper respect to all of society, I mean, there are certain things you’ve got to overlook. You’ve got to realize that in New York, there’s no where to pee. No public restrooms, none. It has been proposed by two mayors, probably three, that New York needs permanent “rest stations”. New York is a pedestrian city. You have to walk, and sometimes long distances. For instance, if you are at a meeting having your coffee or whatever, and you don’t necessarily have to pee while you’re there, and you have to leave to get somewhere else quickly. You’re going to have to pee before you get there. And once you’re in motion, you’re really going to have to pee. You gotta go, period. If you do this in a way that is non-offensive, not even noticed by others, then you got game. You should be able to do that. That should be a non-issue. So, when I got ticketed for this, I just realized that you kind of have to be a little bit more “cloak and dagger” about it. So, I played this little game. I was sitting and thinking and then I had to pee because I was sitting waiting for someone. I was sitting in my car. But you know, you can’t pee in your car. It was a desolate street. I was the only one parked on that street. It was getting dark. So I just walked down the street and just peed. I thought, “I’m going to do a pee book”.

AskaNewYorker: It really is a great, witty book. I love it. My wife has taken many pointers. Anyway, I understand you spent some time on Wall Street.

Ray: Oh, what an experience that was! I refer to it as the time when I was a crook. See, when you’re young, you think you’re going to get this Wall Street thing going, with all the mahogany desks, Cuban stogies, all that. Well, in the end I did end up making more money than the average Joe just out of school, but it’s really a hustle. Your knowledge of the stock market has nothing to do with anything. All you need to know is how to say the same sales pitch over and over and over, no matter how many times you get hung up on, and eventually somebody will hear you all the way through. And you tell them to send the check, and they do. You find your ways to get people involved in the market, but over time you build yourself a little book, a little business. I was in high risk venture capital, which means basically that you are stealing people’s money and pouring it down some drain. I wasn’t about that. I was an artist. My real idea was to make a lot of money doing that, so launching my brilliant career won’t be so painful, so I won’t be like the starving artist and broken. That was the idea. It didn’t work out quite that way.

AskaNewYorker: I know you paint, too. How would you describe your painting style?

Ray: I’d describe it as neo-expressionistic.

AskaNewYorker: Any advice for aspiring painters?

Ray: What I learned for a technique for portrait painting: If you are working from a photograph, you turn the painting upside down. Because that way, what you’re working from are shapes. It is no longer a face. So, you are not trying to capture the essence of a person or a sparkle in the eye or anything. You are basically duplicating shapes, to see if they are balanced upside down.

AskaNewYorker: Thanks a lot, Ray. Let me tell everyone, your work can be seen at Galleria on Third at 529 Third Ave and that your book can be purchased by calling 1-888-641-2435 or by mail from One Temptation Press, 545 8th Ave #401, New York, NY 10018-4307, and the cost is $10. Excerpts from a book review by Peter Plagens, Newsweek Magazine Art Critic, are below:

“Have you ever had to relieve yourself in New York City and searched in vain for a public restroom until your back teeth were floating?....A 40 Point Guide to Peeing in New York by Ray Tempus tells you in hilarious words and uncensored pictures how you-man or woman, old or young, can take care of bodily business, get away with it, and actually have some fun doing it…..Ray Tempus is a painter/sculptor and former stockbroker who knows the streetwise ways of the city…A 40 Point Guide to Peeing in New York reveals sophisticated New Yorkers’ secrets to using automobiles and mailboxes as shields, taking advantage of construction scaffolds and raincoats, and employing conversations with imaginary friends as cover. The instructions are clear as a bell. Each of the book’s forty points is illustrated with one of Tempus’s nonpareil drawings…As essential as a street map, as convenient as a Metrocard.”

Ray's home page picture taken by Katherine Davis, Rolling Stone photographer 1996-1997

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